Assorted Jokes and Riddles

What do you call a hamburger bun in a rocking chair?
Rockin' roll.
 
 
The restaurant sign said, "we Fought the Roaches," so the man went in and ordered soup.
MAN: Waiter, why is there a roach in my soup? The sign said you fought the roaches.
WAITER: It didn't say we won!
 
 
CUSTOMER: Just look at this chicken you served me. One leg is longer than the other.
WAITER: Were you planning to eat it or dance with it?
 
 
TEACHER: Fred, if you had five pieces of candy, and Bob asked for one, how many would you have?
FRED: Five!
 
 
TEACHER: Yes, what is it?
FAILING STUDENT: I don't want to frighten you, but Dad said that if I don't get better grades, someone's going to get a spanking!
 
 
TEACHER: Henry, give me the formula for water.
HENRY: H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O.
TEACHER: What kind of crazy answer is that?
HENRY: You told us that water was H to O.
 
 
A boy wrote this letter from boarding school:
Dear Mom and Dad,
Gue$$ what I need? Plea$e $end $ome $oon.
Be$t Wi$h$,
Your $on $ammy
The parents reply:
Dear Sammy,
NOthing much is happening here. Please write aNOther letter soon. Bye for NOw.
Love,
Dad and Mom
 
 
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