Aries Taurus Gemini Cancer Leo Virgo Libra Scorpio Sagitarius Capricorn Aquarius Pisces
Back to Main Horoscope page

 

Aries (March 21 - April 19)

 

Avoid fast food. Else, you will be learning to be
the fastest sprinter to the washroom.

the wizardTaurus (April 20 - May 20)

 

Remember those number games you played as a
kid? Remember those number games you played on
your last tax form? Well....

 

 

Gemini (May 21 - June 20)

 

Every washroom you visit in the next month will
have a long line-up. Practice the two-step.

 

 

Cancer (June 21 - July 22)

 

Remember that co-worker who told you that
someone dinged your car? They had a front row seat.

Leo (July 23 - August 22)the wizard

 

Yesterday was your lucky day. Now don't
you wish you had played the lotto?
 

 

Virgo (August 23 - September 22)

 

Be careful about singing in the shower. The
neighbors can hear you and might decide to play
the tape at your next get-together.
 

 

Libra (September 23 - October 22)the wizard

 

Avoid torromow. I mean it.
 

 

 

 

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21)

 

Be careful about following your bliss
too closely... both of you might land up with
dented cars.
 

 

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21)

 

If you mind your own business, you
might make a profit. This offer is void
anywhere where is money.
 

 

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19)

 

Who says that you cannot write your
own destiny. I do it all the time.
 

 

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18)

 

If you can think of a good reason to
do something, it is probably worth doing...
except you Bob. All Bobs should not go
driving.
 

Pisces (February 19 - March 20)the wizard

 

Do not wear bright orange clothing
tomorrow. It may be safe on the highway,
but the fireman will think you are on fire.
It's best if you are not all wet.
 
 
back to main
Table of Contents