School Jokes!

 

 

"I'm not going to school anymore!"

"Why not?"

"On Monday she said that 4 and 4 is 8, on Tuesday she said that 6 and 2 is 8, and today, 7 and 1 is 8. I'm not going back until she makes up here mind!"

 

 

"Johnny is sick today, and won't be able to come to school"

"Who is this speaking, please?"

"This is my father!"

 

 

"What is the plural of man?"

"Men."

"Right. And what is the plural of child?"

"Twins."

 

 

"Where's the English Channel?"

"I don't know, our television set doesn't pick it up."

 

Was George Washington a great general, or a great admiral?

A great general. A great admiral would never have stood up in a boat.

 

 

Everything is going. The price of food, clothing, everything, I wish something would go down."

"Take a look at my report card."

 

 

"How far are you from the correct answer?"

"Two seats"

 

 

"Now, class, are there any questions?"

"Yes. Where do all the words go when you rub them off the blackboard?"

 

 

"Your essay, 'My Dog,' is the same, word for word, as your brother's"

"I know. It's the same dog."

 

 

"Why are you late this morning?"

"Because of the alarm clock. Everyone got up except me."

"How was that?"

"There are eight of us and the alarm was set for seven."

 

 

"Can people predict the future with cards?"

"My mother can."

"Really?"

"Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen when my father gets home."

 

 

"In what battle did General Wolfe cry, 'I die happy'"

"His last?"

 

 

"What marks did you get in P.E. last year?"

"I didn't get marks. I only got bruises."

 

 

"If I cut a steak into two parts, what would I have?"

"Halves."

"Right. And then cut them in half again?"

Quarters.."

"And again?"

"Eighths."

"Again?"

"Sixteenths."

"And again?"

Hamburger."

 

 

 

 

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